In a culture that glorifies hustle, productivity, and endless to-do lists, rest has somehow become a luxury rather than a necessity. We’re conditioned to believe that the more we push ourselves, the stronger we are. But this mindset can lead to burnout, anxiety, and even a disconnection from our own needs. True self-care isn’t just about bubble baths and spa days; it’s about recognizing when your body, mind, and spirit need a break—and giving yourself permission to rest.
How do I know this? I’m a walking example of living by the hustle mentality. For most of my adult life, I have juggled multiple jobs at once. I’ve served on boards and even held the role of president simultaneously in three different organizations. I have teetered on the dangerous edge of doing too much and ended up in the hospital multiple times as a result. Only in hindsight did I realize that the naps I took from childhood through today were my body's desperate way of recharging so I could keep going. Now, I make rest a necessity—not a luxury—on weekends and at least a couple of evenings per week.
The Myths Around Productivity and the Need to Always Be 'On'
For many, rest feels like a guilty pleasure. We’re taught that being constantly busy equates to being successful, and taking a break is seen as lazy or unproductive. But this couldn’t be further from the truth. Pushing yourself to the limit doesn’t make you resilient; it makes you exhausted. It’s time to challenge the myths around productivity and redefine what success looks like—one that values well-being over non-stop action.
The call to be resilient has been less of an empowering choice and more of a relentless expectation. It’s the expectation to stay strong, even when every fiber of your being is screaming for rest. It’s the unspoken pressure to “keep it together” at work, at home, in relationships, and in life—even if it’s at the cost of your mental, emotional, and physical health. This is what I call forced resilience.
Forced resilience is a survival mechanism. It’s what we do when we feel like we don’t have a choice but to keep going. It’s what happens when we’re so accustomed to putting others' needs before our own that we forget we even have needs. It’s what we lean on when we believe that showing any sign of weakness, vulnerability, or need is unacceptable. The problem is that forced resilience doesn’t just hurt us; it exhausts us. It leaves us feeling empty, burned out, and disconnected from our true selves. It convinces us that the only way to be worthy, successful, or lovable is to be invincible. But that kind of strength is unsustainable—and it’s time for a change.
Forced resilience is a survival mechanism. It’s what we do when we feel like we don’t have a choice but to keep going.
Rest is Not Just Physical: The Need for Mental and Emotional Peace
Rest goes beyond sleep or lounging on the couch. It’s about giving your mind a break from overthinking, your emotions a chance to settle, and your spirit space to breathe. Forced resilience often tricks us into believing we have to keep going, no matter what, but the truth is, we need rest to recharge. Taking time to meditate, journal, or simply disconnect from stressors is a vital part of holistic rest.
A recent experience during my Osteopathic Manipulative Medicine appointment highlighted this for me. My doctor had to adjust the inside of my mouth because my jaw muscles were so tight they were impacting my neck, shoulders, back—pretty much everything. Years ago, I was given a night guard to protect my teeth from clenching due to stress. But here I was, still needing adjustments because the underlying issue remained unaddressed. My doctor recommended incorporating more moments of silence into my day. "Start with 10 minutes of no phone, no music, no TV, no technology, no talking," he said. Meditate? Yes. But had I really been doing that? When was the last time I sat still, truly still?
It was eye-opening to realize that what I thought was self-care was only surface-level. I hadn’t been giving my mind a break from overthinking, my emotions were overworked, and my spirit was suffocating. My life was filled with countless micro and macro moments where forced resilience took over. I hadn’t noticed my body was screaming for help until it forced me to pay attention.
Rest goes beyond sleep or lounging on the couch. It’s about giving your mind a break from overthinking, your emotions a chance to settle, and your spirit space to breathe. Forced resilience can make rest feel impossible.
How Forced Resilience Drives Us to Avoid Rest
Forced resilience can make rest feel impossible. When we are conditioned to believe that resilience means enduring no matter what, we internalize the idea that taking a break is a sign of weakness. This mindset drives us to push through exhaustion, ignoring signals from our body and mind that we desperately need rest. We glorify the idea of being the person who can handle it all, but at what cost? This habit of relentless pushing leads to a cycle of burnout where rest is neglected until it is too late, and recovery becomes a monumental task.
This constant state of forced resilience is not sustainable. It can lead to physical consequences like chronic pain, fatigue, and even serious health issues. Mentally, it can leave us anxious, irritable, and disconnected from ourselves and others. Emotionally, we start to lose touch with joy and peace. Understanding that rest is not an indulgence, but an essential part of healthy resilience is crucial to breaking free from this harmful cycle. Understanding that when you’re working on ending forced resilience, cutting off the bad parts won’t happen overnight. You can take the first step today, by giving yourself the "okay" to take a break and rest. Your mind, body, and spirit will thank you in return!
Practical Ways to Incorporate Rest into Daily Life
Making time for rest doesn’t mean you need to schedule a week-long vacation (although that would be nice!). Small, intentional actions can help you build a lifestyle that values rest. If you’re used to a nonstop lifestyle, incorporating rest can feel unnatural at first. Start small:
1. Learn to Say No: Protect your time and energy by setting boundaries. Saying no to unnecessary obligations creates space for rest. You don’t have to be everything to everyone.
2. Schedule Mini-Breaks: Set a timer to remind yourself to take a five-minute break every hour. Stand up, stretch, or close your eyes and breathe deeply.
3. Create a Restful Routine: Establish daily habits that allow you to unwind, whether it’s a morning meditation, an afternoon tea break, or an evening walk.
4. Prioritize Sleep: Ensure you’re getting at least 7-8 hours of sleep a night. Quality sleep is non-negotiable for true rest and recovery.
5. Practice Mindfulness: Engage in activities that allow you to be present, like deep breathing, yoga, or simply sitting in silence.
6. Practice Digital Detox: Allocate 10-15 minutes a day without screens. Use this time to sit in silence, take a short walk, or simply enjoy a moment of stillness.
7. Disconnect: Take it a step further and disconnect from people, places, and things that keep you feeling reved up. Unplugging can provide your mind with the space it needs to rest.
Rest is not a reward for hard work; it’s a fundamental part of self-care. When we rest, we give ourselves the chance to heal, recharge, and reconnect with our true selves. It’s time to see rest as a radical act of self-love, one that helps us build a sustainable, joyful life. Let’s challenge the culture of forced resilience and reclaim our right to rest. After all, true strength is knowing when to take a step back, breathe, and just be.
Let's challenge the culture of forced resilience and reclaim our right to rest.
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